It’s not your job to control everything in your life and it’s not possible to do, so you can stop trying. It’s all the trying to figure everything out, manage and control everything that gets us into a bad state in the first place.
As part of my HR business I support people in their working lives, who feel stressed and burned out and who are no longer enjoying their life the way they used to. I help them to find freedom from their current experiences and reconnect with their inner resources and innate wellbeing for improved results, relationships, health, and a more enjoyable life.
I’ve travelled my own journey with stress, overwhelm and burnout so I understand and empathise what people are going through when they find themselves in this place. I’ve also learned how to move beyond it.
Over the past few months, I’ve interacted with so many people that are challenged by the current Covid-19 situation, and who are feeling stuck in their busy minds and feeling stressed, anxious and fearful for their future and the future of their loved ones and businesses.
We usually like to think we are in control of our lives but if this pandemic has shown us anything, it is that we are not in control as much as we like to think. That is unnerving as we don’t like living with uncertainty.
One of the key things that helped me in the early days of learning how to find Freedom from Overwhelm and Burnout was Understanding the Difference between What Is (whatever or whoever that may be) and My Stories about What Is.
When we are living in the unknown, as we are now, and there is a lot of uncertainty, we tend to make up Stories about What is – what is going on, why it is going on, what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year etc. Why do we do this? We do this to fill in the gaps in the unknown and to give ourselves a greater sense of control.
That’s all fine, until we start to believe our Stories as ‘fact’ or ‘truth’, until we start treating them as front-page news, and thinking we have to act on them as if they were giving us instructions. We can even feel a sense of urgency about acting upon them.
Our Stories can also result in us not doing things, going places or chasing our dreams. We buy into thinking we have a fixed personality i.e. I have these strengths and these weaknesses, I do – A, B and C but I don’t do – X, Y and Z as that’s not who I am. These too are all just made up Stories that we have bought into.
We all do this, and then we wonder why we feel scared, stressed and anxious, but recognising what’s going on is half the battle. Its only when you begin to see what a creative storyteller you are and how you ‘take on’ your own Stories and live from their content, that their impact lessens…
Its only when you recognise that you are projecting into the future with your imagination, that you can come back to the present moment – the Now. Once you can see that life is happening in the Here and Now, and not in some imagined projection in your mind, you will find peace.
It doesn’t really matter whether our Stories make us feel good or bad. It’s the attachment to the good ones and the fear of the bad ones that get us into tricky waters. If the ones that make us feel good don’t work out, we feel disappointed and we react to the ones we don’t like, feeling scared, holding back from doing what we want, going where we want and chasing our dreams.
The thing is, we don’t need to overthink everything, and we don’t need to plan everything to the Nth degree. We can all remember a time when we just knew what to do in an unexpected situation and we all have a track record of surviving everything life has thrown at us so far. We have inbuilt wisdom and this shows up, just when we need it, and not a minute sooner, So, whatever happens in the future, you will know what to do when the time comes. Isn’t it a huge relief to know that you have this inbuilt wisdom, that will show up whenever you need it and that you will be ok no matter what life throws at you.
Knowing you have this inbuilt wisdom is the starting point. Trusting and leaning into that inner wisdom, brings peace of mind, frees up head space and all time to enjoy your life.
Thank you for reading and engaging with me here. If this is a current issue for you or you would like some more information or support, please email me at info@hrwithharte.ie
If you would like to know more about finding Peace of Mind for yourself, you may want to check out an upcoming programme I am participating in. The programme is called ‘Six Weeks to Find Peace’ and it starts November 1st and runs online for 6 weeks, leading up to a Peaceful Christmas and New Year. Click on this link Six Weeks to Find Peace to read more about the programme or you can email me at info@hrwithharte.ie. I would love if you could join us.
